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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25806829">a different kind of love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoeAyitian/pseuds/ZoeAyitian'>ZoeAyitian</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:07:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>724</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25806829</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoeAyitian/pseuds/ZoeAyitian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what I've imagined is going on in Lila's mind just before the handler goes all boom boom on everyone.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a different kind of love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay this is my first fanfic on this site!! I usually hangout at Fanfiction.net. I’m gonna post everything from there on here just to join the Archive crowd. Btw this girl from instagram made a song about Umbrella Academy and i'm living for it. Anyways, enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"She's using you, Lila. The Handler."</p><p>"You're wrong." Lila spat back. “She raised me.”</p><p>He's wrong. He has to be. Of course, her mother hadn't been the very loving type but Mother cared for her. Mother loves her.</p><p>"She loves me."</p><p>Love is shown in different ways. Extra kills and tougher missions were how she believed Mother showed love towards her. It's not normal but it was how their dynamic worked. It's how their mother/daughter relationship is.</p><p>Diego was not going to make her turn on the woman who raised her. The woman who took her in when she had no one left.</p><p>
  <em>The woman who put out the kill order on her parents.</em>
</p><p>No. He won't get to her. He won't get inside her head that easily.</p><p>"Hey, Lila."</p><p>She looked at him. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were deep brown with caution and a softness that made her stomach churn. God, why had she let herself fall in love with him?</p><p>"She's dangerous. And you're scared of what she'll do with all that new power. That's why you dragged me to the Commission. Because I know what it's like to love dangerous people."</p><p>The hand holding the knife slowly went down as Diego continued talking.</p><p>"Difference is…" he trailed off.</p><p>Lila watched Diego as he looked at each of his family members.</p><p>"...they love me back." That brought Lila back to her senses real quick.</p><p>"Shut up." Lila whimpered whilst bringing her knife back up to her defense. Her eyes glassed over as she saw the raw honesty in his eyes as he spoke his words.</p><p>Her hand shook against the knife as she held it in front of her and towards Diego's chest.</p><p>Diego's eyes moved down to look at the knife. "The only thing she loves is power." He looked back into her eyes, hoping that he could get through the walls she's putting up. "The minute she can't use you, she will turn on you, and deep down I <em>know</em> you know that's true."</p><p>Lila shook her head, trying not to believe a word he said. "You don't know me, Diego."</p><p>Diego took two steps forward, close enough to feel the breaths on each other's faces.</p><p>"Don't I?"</p><p>The knife was now fully pressed against his chest but he didn’t back down. He stared at her, waiting to see what she would do. Not once did his eyes leave hers.</p><p>Her whole body was trembling now. Tears threatened to spill over but she didn't allow them to fall. She knew better than that. Her expression was one of confliction and confusion.</p><p>Should she give in? Or should she just end it all right now?</p><p>Diego leaned in slightly. "I know that we can be your family…" The look in his eyes was so damn sincere. She couldn't look away. "...if you just let us."</p><p>The air in the barn was thick as Lila glanced at the weirdos who surrounded her.</p><p>
  <em>Family.</em>
</p><p>The concept meant something different in hers. It was killing for affection. Fighting to gain approval. Completing the job to feel accomplished and loved.</p><p>The Hargreeves family was completely different from hers. They fought to help one another. They killed to protect each other. And they completed the job to save their loved ones.</p><p>Even with the crazy relationships they have with each other, every action they do is with love. Something she was sure her mother could never relate to.</p><p>Somewhere inside her, Lila knew that the love she held for her mother was not reciprocated. But long ago she concluded that she could love enough for the both of them. And that she would push those unwanted feelings down and never let them show again.</p><p>Yet somehow this stupid man that she was supposed to string along for the good of the assignment broke through her barriers and brought up the feelings that she was so good at hiding. This stupid man somehow made her fall in love with him. This stupid man somehow had her questioning her whole life.</p><p>But this stupid man also offered her <em>real love</em>. He offered her a family. One that was just as unique and weird as her, if not more. The chance was right there in front of her.</p><p>And she might just take it full-on.</p>
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